A Return to Writing

A good friend of mine has been putting a lot of emphasis on writing through his social media posts. This got me thinking of how much I enjoy writing yet never seem to make the time to write. According to my blog posts I'll write a couple posts over a three week period and then quit for 3-9 months; I hope this time is different! I guess I should just write about the most recent things that are happening in our family. 

Anxiousness and worry! I bet you didn't think that is where this blog post was going! Well, I want to be honest with you all because how can I preach and teach about open community if I'm not willing to be open and honest! I am worried. I am worried for multiple reasons and it's funny (in the ironic way) about how I focus on my problems instead of realizing that God is showing me my own inadequacies for His glory and my good. 

First, I am worried because our air conditioner seems to be perpetually broken over these last 3 weeks. Whenever my A/C guy responds to my text, thats right I have an A/C guy, this will be the third time in as many weeks he has been to my house to try to fix the unit. God is gracious though because it is the upstairs unit not the unit for our bedroom where my very pregnant, very hot wife is sleeping. However, I am worried because we don't have the money to buy a new air conditioner. The part that makes it the worse is that our lack of money for big expenses comes from bad stewardship not a lack of God's provision. It is annoying to know that you don't have the money you need when you need it but it's humbling when you realize that it is your fault.

Second, I am worried because my beautiful bride is coming in on the end of her pregnancy. We found out that Sawyer is going to be quite large and it is causing a few very minor complications here at the end. The feeling of being helpless seems to loom large at the moment. There is not a thing I can do for my wife other than just serving her as I normally try to do. Ok enough about my situation. I know the only thing that can act as a balm for my soul, as well as yours, is the Word of God. I was reminded of Matthew 6:25-34.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek you first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
— Matthew 6:25-34

I know that is a long passage but it is so very good! The main gist of this whole chapter is found in verse 33... "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you". We are not to seek reputation, wealth, or security. We are to pursue God. After I wallowed in my own situation and had myself a good pity party I remembered a couple of things. 

First, I need to repent. I need to repent of being a bad steward of the blessings God has provided. I need to repent of not trusting that God is in control of my life, my wife's life, Wyatt's life, and Sawyer's life. There is nothing that lies outside of the control of God and he is good, almighty, and perfect. 

Second, I need to trust. Anxiety really just shows a lack of faith. If I fully trusted God had my best interest in mind, that he would truly provide for all my needs, or that he was in complete control of all things then I wouldn't be worried. No matter how difficult life is God is in control. It doesn't matter if the difficulties have risen because of my own sinful choices or not. God is using all situations for His glory and my good. 

I know this has been a novel but I hope that if anyone is dealing with anxieties and worries that this post helps. I'm right there with you. Let us daily repent of our sins and trust God. 

~TJ

*picture courtesy of Google